Read this:

This is the most important article I have read on introspection and the self in a long time. Which says something, truly, because I am constantly reading this stuff. Speaking as an ex-chill girl, this article highlights all the reasons that women don’t speak out for themselves, push for what they want and need, and put their happiness behind that of everyone else. The article discusses the reasons we fall into this pattern, and how we can get out of it.